The Adventures of Brooke and Lucas
by True Love Always Brucas
Summary: Dude you are in a serious need of a dudecation" "Brooke you do realize you are a girl, right? "So not the point" An au Brooke and Lucas roadtrip sure to please! If you like funny brucas than this story is for you! Enjoy!
1. You just got dumped Dudecation anyone?

**Hey guys I'm back with a new story. So i was sitting in my car, and this idea totally hit me, and since i was feeling the brucas love after the new sneak peek for 6x08, how awesome was that were they like totally flirting or what?, i figured what the hey i will go ahead and post it! **

**So this is basically an AU story about brucas, who else. They have been best friends since they were little, and to get Lucas over being dumped by Peyton, Brooke decides to take him on a road trip. Throw in some tranvestites, booze, and hot boys and you got ur self one good party. **

**Hope you like it and feel free to tell me what you think, i'd love the feedback good or bad.**

**As always i own nothing, if I did this leyton suckfest would have been nipped in the bud a long time ago, and james and i would be on our honeymoon in the bahamas lol, but seriously he is a fox. **

**Enough of my rambling, on with the story**

* * *

"Dude you are in a serious need of a dudecation."

"Brooke you do realize you are a girl, right?"

"So not the point."

Brooke grabbed Lucas' hand and pulled him up off the couch.

"Brooke, I don't want to go." Lucas whined, but it was too late. Brooke had already taken out his suitcase and was halfway done packing his clothes.

"Look Lucas, I know that you want to sit in here and Brood and cry over Peyton "The Itch", but I'm not going to let you."

"The Itch," Lucas asked amused.

"Well, I can't actually call her the B-word, because she is still my best friend." she said matter of factly.

"It's okay, you can still say bad things about her."

"In that case she is a bitch, now let's go" Brooke grabbed Lucas' suitcase and headed for the front door.

"I can't believe you said that about her," Lucas said, a look of shock and amusement written on his face.

"Dude, sometimes the truth hurts." Brooke said as she threw Lucas' suitcase out the door. Unfortunately she forgot to close it shut, thus it landed with a loud bang and clothes went flying everywhere.

"Brooke I can't believe you just did that. Now look at my clothes there all over the place, and they're dirty." Lucas ran down the steps as quick as he could and began stuffing them back in the suitcase.

"Dude, quit acting like such a girl. Your clothes are fine, it's blazing hot out here." Brooke waved her hand back in forth in front of her face to cool herself off. "Seriously Luke, it's drier out here than your relationship with Peyton." Brooke said as she put a hand over her mouth and tried not to chuckle.

"Ok, so not funny, and stop calling me dude." Lucas said, as he crossed his hand over his chest and began to brood.

"Fine, is Broody better, because that is exactly what you are doing." Brooke said as she crossed her hands over her chest and imitated him. "Now I'm starting to see why Peyton broke up with you. You are not only gay, I mean with the whole clothes thing, and don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at Fergie," Brooke looked up at Lucas, a clear look of shock written on his face. Brooke couldn't resist continuing, "You are also a two year old who has to pout when he doesn't get his way. Lucas I'm gay and act like a two year old broody Scott. Has a nice ring to it don't you think." Brooke asked and couldn't help but grin at the look of annoyance on Lucas' face. She loved making him angry, it was something that she had perfected over the years. That was there relationship she would pick on him, make him angry, he would brood, and a minute later they would both laugh. It had been that way since they became best friends in the second grade. Brooke put glue on Lucas' new shirt, then he tickled her until she almost peed. They had been inseparable ever since.

"Well," Lucas said coming closer to Brooke, "could a two-year old do this?" Before Brooke could make a move, he ran up the stairs threw her over his shoulders and took off running with her into the yard.

"Lucas Scott" Brooke yelled while slapping at his back with her hands, "put me down right now." Lucas couldn't help but laugh. She was the only person in the world who could make him laugh when he was upset. And Peyton breaking up with him without even a real explanation had definitely made him broodier than usual. He was snapped out of his thoughts as Brooke hit him again and tried to escape out of his arms.

"I'm serious Euguene" Lucas winced at the sound of his middle name, Brooke always used it when she got mad at him. "Put me down or so help me God, I will call Fergie and tell him that you loooove him." she said emphasizing the love part.

"You wouldn't" he said

"Try me," she said using her devious smile. She reached into Lucas' pocket and grabbed his phone. She read aloud as she texted. "Oh Fergie, I love you so much. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I want to rub my hands through your afro and play a game of one on one with you under the stars. Please come see me I miss you and I love you." Brooke was laughing so hard she could barely see straight.

"Oh my God Brooke, you better not send that." Lucas said as he tried to grab the phone from her.

Brooke tried to pull it away from him but before she could, he accidentally hit the send button and knocked them both to the ground in the process.

"Oops. Nice hands Lucas." Brooke said as she lay on the ground laughing. She was laughing so hard now, she was crying.

"Nice legs" Lucas shot back. "You know that was your fault, if you hadn't texted that in the first place we wouldn't have fell and that message," Lucas said pointing to the phone. "would not have been sent."

"Oh whatever." she said. She was silent for a moment before she mumbled, "You so love you some Fergilicious."

Lucas looked over at Brooke, and then he busted out laughing. "You're crazy you know that?"

"Well that's just part of my charm." she said smiling at him, her dimples in full show.

"Well you know what's part of my charm?" Lucas asked. Brooke just shook her head, so he continued. "This" he said as he turned over and began to tickle her. He smiled as Brooke began laughing hysterically.

"Stop Luca" she said but was interrupted by the sound of the sprinklers. Lucas stopped tickling her and helped her up just as the sprinklers enveloped them in freezing cold water.

"Brooke run" Lucas yelled as they went running in the direction of the house.

"Running" she yelled back, but of course Brooke had to be wearing her 4 ½ inch boots that got stuck in the mud, which made her fall backwards into Lucas who was carrying his suitcase. They both fell and landed in a puddle of water, Lucas' clothes going everywhere.

"Now they're dirty." he said as he glared at her.

Brooke couldn't help but chuckle. "Oops."

* * *

An hour and two showers later, Brooke and Lucas set in Brooke's Volkswagen beetle, ready to hit the road.

"Okay Broody ready to hit the road?" Brooke asked as she put in a cd, the loud sound of Great Escape by Boys Like Girls, filled the car.

"What is that?" Lucas asked. Brooke and Lucas had different taste when it came to music. That meaning to Lucas that he had taste and she didn't. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to listen to that God awful music the whole trip.

"That my friend is The Adventures of Brooke and Lucas."

He looked at her confused.

"Our road mix" she answered as she turned up the volume and began to drive.

"God help me." Lucas mumbled.

* * *

LATER AT LUCAS' HOUSE

Fergie walked up the steps to Lucas' house. He knocked on the door but nobody answered. "Luke, it's me Fergie, I think we should talk. I love you man, but just as a friend. I know you love you some Fergilicious. I mean who could blame you."


	2. Where a kid can be a kid!

**Hey guys this is the next ch. I wasn't going to post it this soon, but i will be gone over the weekend and i want be able to write. So here it is I hope you like it, please review, and have a gr8 weekend!**

**As usual I own nothing, which really sucks!**

**Thx to my sis for all her help, and all my wonderful reviewers, you guys freaking rule!**

* * *

It had been 3 hours since Brooke and Lucas started there little road trip, and Lucas was pretty sure he'd never been tortured this much in his entire life. He had had a horrible stomach virus a month ago and got in a car wreck when he was like 5, but none of it compared to the horrible screeching sounds coming from the brunette sitting next to him.

She had slept for a measly 30 minutes so that he could drive. And he was pretty sure those were the best 30 minutes of his life, but of course that was all ruined when Brooke woke up, and turned on "brucas mix" as she called it, to full blast.

She had listened to the cd 3 times already and that mixed with the fact that she was on her 2nd energy drink only made things worse. Lucas's mind drifted to the movie Saw. He wondered if this is what they meant by driving yourself mad and making you face your worst fear, because Brooke's singing was enough to drive anybody mad. Plus his biggest fear at the moment was that the screeching noise would make him go deaf, which when he thought about it, probably wasn't such a bad idea. He was interrupted from his thoughts as the cd came to an end. He closed his eyes tight and braced himself for Brooke's "big finish".

"And listen to the thunder!" Brooke belted out at the top of her lungs. It was the worst sound Lucas had ever heard. Brooke could never sing, and yet that didn't stop her from always trying to. He always wondered how such a horrible sound could come from something so beautiful.

Brooke turned to look at Lucas only to see a look of pure horror on his face.

"What?" she asked

"What, what do you mean what?" Lucas asked her. "That high pitched shrill you call singing almost made me wreck the car."

"Oh whatever" she snapped back.

"You know you're tone-deaf right?"

"You know that I could tie you up and lock you in my trunk and no one would hear your screams right?

"Okay, never insulting you again"

"Good because my trunk does not have enough room to fit an overweight two year old." she said as she crossed her arms and stared ahead at nothing in particular.

It got quiet for a minute, and Lucas silently prayed that Brooke would just give him the silent treatment the whole way there, wherever there was, but that was no such luck.

The next thing Lucas knew Brooke turned to him and put her hand on his cheek, and in that same "lovely" voice of hers, she yelled at the top of her lungs, "Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer" but she was interrupted by Lucas, "Woman get your hands off of me" Lucas tried to swat Brooke's hand away "what are you doing?" he yelled.

"But Lucas," Brooke sang, "your eyes are the brightest of all the colors."

Lucas was now shaking his head, laughing at her and her crazy antics.

"Brooke did you get into Tim's stash again." Lucas rubbed Brooke's arm." It's okay Brooke the first step is admitting you have a problem." Lucas said trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh shut up, Mr. I sing you are the wind beneath my wings in the shower when I think nobody can hear me."

"I do not" Lucas defended.

"Yes you do," Brooke retaliated back, "actually speaking of have you sung it to Fergie yet. I'm sure he would love to hear it. Actually on second thought don't, you might make his ears bleed."

"What," Lucas put his hand up to his ear. "I'm sorry Brooke I can't hear you. That horribly screeching sound you call singing has deafened me. You need to speak up." he yelled

"You know on second thought I think my trunk is plenty big enough."

* * *

An hour later, after trading drivers, and taking another pee break, because as Brooke put it "my bladder is small and I can't hold as much liquid as you", they had finally decided it was time to eat. But when Lucas opened the car door and got out, his jaw almost dropped to the ground when he realized where they were.

"Chuck E. Cheese Brooke?" Lucas asked in disbelief. "Seriously, what are we 5?"

"Oh whatever Dude, they have like the best pizza ever, and don't tell me you don't like it." Brooke said pointing to the sign on the door. "See, it's where a kid can be a kid" she sang.

Lucas just chuckled only Brooke would think of coming here. "Fine I'll go under two conditions." Brooke just looked at him as if to say "go on". "You never say that ever again, and you quit it with that cow calling you call singing."

"Oh whatever dude. It's a deal" she said shaking his hand and walking to the door.

"I'm serious Brooke. You might scare the little kids." he said while opening the door so she could walk in.

"Again, whatever dude."

"And quit calling me dude." Lucas said as he walked in and shut the door behind them.

* * *

"Omg Lucas, Omg! I just got 50 tickets on the ski ball machine. I freaking rule." Brooke screamed as she ran up to Lucas. She gave him her tickets as he shook his head and followed behind her.

"Oh Lucas can I play that shooting game.?" Brooke asked. "Please Lucas, Paleezze." Brooke whined grabbing on to Lucas' arm jumping up and down.

"Ok," Lucas shook his head laughing, "You can play the shooting game," He pinched her cheek and added in a baby voice "my little Brookie Cookie."

"Thanks" Brooke smiled her dimples showing, "Dude" she stuck her tongue out an ran in the direction of the game.

* * *

"Listen here kid, I was here first." Brooke yelled to a little boy in line to see Chuck E.

"Na-uh lady I was here first" he yelled back

"Na-uh"

"Uh huh"

"Na-uh," Brooke yelled back, but she was interrupted by Lucas coming in the middle of them.

"Brooke he is like 6." Lucas tried to reason with her.

"Actually, I'm 6 ½." the little boy said back.

"See Lucas," Brooke said pointing a finger at the little boy, "He's 6 ½."

Brooke suddenly turned to the boy with a devious smile. Lucas knew that look, and he knew whatever she was thinking couldn't be good. "Okay," she said waiting for him to say his name, "Tim." the little boy said. "That explains a lot," Brooke muttered, "I will play you for it. Whoever wins at that shooting game over there, gets to see Chuck. E first." she stuck out her hand for him to shake. "Deal?"

"Deal" the boy said shaking her hand.

"This will be fun." Lucas said sarcastically as they made there way over to the game.

* * *

"You call that shooting, my grandma could shoot better than that." Brooke yelled. Her and Tim had been playing the game for over 2 hours now. Lucas looked at his watch, it was way past 9pm, and they still didn't know where they were going to stay. Lucas listened as they yelled insults back and forth to each other.

"Is your hip hurting old lady, I think you need to go back to the home."

Little Dim, I think it is past your bedtime. So why don't you go home and curl up with Barney or something."

"Barney is gay. I like to sleep with my Thomas the train instead."

Lucas just shook his head. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why they were playing the game in the first place. All they had to do was take turns and they would have gotten to see Chuck E. But Chuck E. was gone now, probably in his nice warm bed sleeping, and he was stuck here babysitting 2 year olds.

"Timothy Bartholomew Rainwater" a lady yelled running up to the three of them.

"Bartholomew" Brooke asked amused.

"Rainwater. And I thought Eugene was bad." Lucas muttered.

"Young man I have been looking for you for over an hour." Tim's mother yelled at him. "Your are 6 years old. You are not to be gallivanting around with strangers."

"6 ½" the three said in unison.

"Come on young man. You are not going to be sleeping in your teletubbie pajamas tonight Mr." his mother announced. "But mom." the little boy whined as he was carried off.

"Ha ha I won" Brooke yelled after him sticking her tongue out. He glared back at her and stuck his tongue out before practically being shoved out the front door.

"Ok Broody, now let's go claim my prize." Brooke squealed happily.

"Brooke, Chuck E. has been gone for over an hour.

"What and you didn't tell me. Some kind of friend you are." Brooke said crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Of all the horrible things you have ever done to me, this has got to be the lowest. You are no longer my best friend anymore Eugene." Brooke huffed as she opened the door and walked outside.

Lucas followed her out the door rolling his eyes. "Would you settle for ice cream?" he asked as he got in the drivers seat.

"Can I have the rainbow sprinkles." she asked narrowing her eyes and pouting here mouth.

"Yes" Lucas smirked.

"And the gummy bears."

"Of course." he said matter of factly.

"Ok, you are so my best friend again." she said clapping her hands together.

He started the car and smiled over at her. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**So what did you think? Loved it hated it? Thought Brooke was nutso? Wished she would have stuffed Lucas in her car? Should she have gotten to see Chuck E.?**

**I'm really enjoying writing this story and i hope you are enjoying reading it. And if you would like to hit that purple bottom on the bottom left-hand corner and leave me a review, I'd be cool with that!**

**A special thx goes to my sis Chelsea for helping me come up with ideas and titles. You freaking rule!**

**Another special thx goes to all my reviewers. Without you I'd not have a story. I write for all you guys, so if there is anything you want to happen, like maybe Brooke finally gets to meet Chuck E., leave me a review and let me know. I'm always open to new ideas and if I use your idea I will give you all the credit! Until next time Peace, Brucas Love, and Hair Grease!**


	3. A tranvestite named Bertha

**Hey my lovely reviewers! i know you are probably wondering if im still alive since i havent updated in like forever, but the answer is i am still alive woohoo and here is a new ch. woohooo again. that is like double the fun like a double stuffed oreo good, yum i love oreos!**

**Anywho im so sorry for the long wait, but here it is. I hope you like it i dont think it is my best but i'll let you all be the judge on if you liked it or not so please leave a review, even if you want to just yell at me for taking so darn long, you can do that too, just as long as you review, im really review deprived!**

**As usual i own nothing and now i will shut up so you can read the story!**

* * *

After an hour and many sprinkles and gummy bears later Brooke and Lucas were finally on their way to the hotel, well "a" hotel, and even though they were dead tired they, being Brooke and Lucas, still found the strength to argue, a lot.

"Lucas when are we going to be there." Brooke whined from the passenger seat. Her ice cream had long since been eaten and she just wanted to get to a hotel room.

"In a while, now don't yell at me. This is all your fault." He said pointing to her. "You are the one that had to go to freaking Chuck E. Cheese and you are the one that had to fight with a 6 year old for hours so that you could meet that freakishly over-sized mouse that was probably hopped up on steroids."

"First of all, the little boy was 6 1/2," she said glaring at him. "2nd of all, Chuck E. Cheese is cool, 3rd that freakishly over-sized mouse as you so rudely called my friend is Chuck. E. 4th, maybe you should use some steriods because you look like an anereoxic girl with man hands." Brooke said crossing her arms over her chest, giving him an evil grin.

"Hey I am not anoreoxic and I do not look like a girl." Lucas pouted.

"Yeah you do." Brooke loved teasing him it was just too much fun, and he was just too easy. "No wonder you love hanging with all the guys at the rivercourt. You love seeing them all hot and sweaty." Brooke said running her hands down her front.

"Ok well then you look like a man." Lucas said totally catching Brooke off guard.

"Why thank you Lucas," Brooke said in her best man voice expression. "I'm glad you have finally figured out my true identity. Now I can run away with my transvestite lover Bertha."

"What," Lucas said trying hard not to laugh. "Who in the heck is Bertha." He had know clue what she was talking about, heck most of the time he had no idea what she was talking about.

"That is the name of your alter ego Lucas, I told you you were a girl. And since I am really a boy my name is.. Bubba, and we are tranvestite lovers and since the secret is now out we can run off and get hitched." Brooke said in her normal voice as if it made all the since in the world.

"You are crazy you know that. You sure you haven't gotten into Tim's drugs." Lucas asked amused. She truly was crazy.

"Now you know I have my own stash," Brooke said it was late and she was starting to become delirious.

Lucas just stared at her like she had three heads. "Don't give me that look Broody. You know I get crazy when I am sleepy. The last time I got like this, I told some guy that you were a crackwhore and that I was your pimp."

"Brooke, you told your dad that." Lucas said he couldn't believe that she had forgot that little detail of the story. It was the first time he had ever really met her parents because they were always away, so he wanted to make a really good impression. Well they did not get home until really late, and when Brooke saw them she introduced him as "her male gigolo" claiming that she was his pimp. She told them all about how she had met Lucas on the streets and how she had told him if he would be her crackwhore, than she would let him live with her. This went on for over an hour and let's just say that before the night was over, Brooke's parents had never looked so mortified and Lucas had never been so embarrased.

"Oh my God, yeah I remember." Brooke busted out laughing. "I thought he was going to have a heartattack. He told me that I shouldn't talk to strangers and that if you ever came back around call the cops and tell them that there was a crazy tranvestite trying to break in." Brooke could barely get the words out she waslaughing so hard.

"That is not funny, your dad pratically kicked my ass." He said pointing at her. "He chased me around that house with the rake, I kept trying to get to the front door but he thought I was trying to get to you and your mom."

"I know, it was hilarious. My mom kept yelling. 'Rich save us from the crackwhore' Brooke said flinging her arms imitating her mom.

"Oh, whatever, you were yelling right along with her. 'Daddy please don't hurt my poor little harlot, I need him to get my drugs.' Lucas was now laughing. He could honestly say that Brooke was the craziest person he knew. She said and did whatever she wanted and did not care what anyone thougth about it. But that was why he loved her, and that was why she was his best friend.

"Oh whatever dude, you know you loved being my little bitch." Brooke said smirking over at him.

"Oh yeah it was the highlight of my life." Lucas said in his best dramatic voice. "Hey and quit calling me dude."

"Sorry dude." Brooke said. Lucas was about to lecture her about it, but before he could, Brooke pointed to a sign. "Look Lucas, the Ocean Key Resort, I've always wanted to stay there. It says it's 15 miles up. Lucas can we stay there. Please Lucas, Oh puhleeeease." Brooke begged putting her hands together and using her best puppy dog face.

"No, Brooke that is way too expensive, we can not stay there." They barely had money to stay at a cheap run down hotel let alone a fancy rich hotel. Lucas would really have to be Brooke's crackwhore if they were going to afford that.

Brooke reached into her back pocket and pulled out her mastercard. "Don't worry Lucas, it's totally on my dad." Brooke said smiling devishily.

"The Key West Resort it is." Lucas said happily.

* * *

"Oh feel free to order way too much room service." Brooke said as they pulled up to the stunning hotel. It was the most beautiful place Brooke and Lucas had ever seen.

"Oh I will, after being chased by your father with a rake, I think I deserve some pain and suffering money." he said pretending to wipe a cheer from his cheek.

"It's okay broody let it all out." Brooke patted his back laughing.

"I still have so many emotional scars. I have not been the same boy since."

"That's right, my dad made you confused sexually and now you think you are a transvestite named Bertha. Poor Bertha." she said as they got out of the car and walked to the trunks to get their bags.

"Ha ha. so I guess since I'm a poor helpless woman you can get the bags." Lucas said pretending to walk away. "Remember to lift with the knees."

"Hey dude, you are "my" bitch, so come get my bags." Brooke giggled.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Lucas said in his best girly voice.

"You don't get paid at all. Now hurry it up dude and get my bags." Brooke said spanking his bottom.

"I feel so violated hey and quit calling me dude," Lucas said pulling their bags from the trunk. "Damn, I feel like my back is going to break, what do you have in this thing a dead body or something."

"No, that one has my shoes, and that one is the one that I am planning to put your dead body in when I kill you." Brooke said pointing to the huge suitcase that Lucas was trying to carry, keyword trying.

"So it has your clothes in it." Lucas asked amused.

"Exactly, but I would watch your back because you aren't getting as much work as you used to get as my "street walker" Brooke said making airquotes. "so I might have to get rid of you soon."

"Then how would you get your crack?" Lucas asked playing along.

"Oh I have my ways broody. I am a really good pimp, so I could always find me a good hustler to take over for you. Someone like...Tim"

"Tim, yeah I think you really are on something. You feeling okay." Lucas said feeling her head to see if she had a fever.

"No you idiot, look" Brooke said pointing to someone across the room in the hotel.

"Tim?"

* * *

**Dun dun duh! so i left you with a little cliffhanger there. I dont know about you but there is nothing better then adding crazy Tim to the mix well unless you add crackwhores and tranvestites. **

**I hope you guys liked this ch. i wasn't thrilled about it, but it is 4:30 in the morning and im delirious so i honestly have no idea what i really freaking wrote. All I can really remember is Lucas as a transvestite named Bertha and Brooke as his pimp, so please review and tell me if you liked it snce i dont even know what the heck it is about lol!**

**Anywho again im so sorry it took so long to update ive just had a tad bit of writers block, but i will try to have the next update sooner than later i cant promise but i will try.**

**Love you peeps you all freaking rule, and til next time please stay as you are and dont turn into tranvestites named Bertha. **


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